"Nobody even cares that there's some water on Mars; we have water on Earth so you shouldn't even bother having a stupid press conference unless there's proof of alien guys with a bunch of eyes or tentacles or something," said Fort Wayne, IN resident Kyle Schultz, echoing the sentiment of Americans across the country who insisted that NASA stop telling them about new black holes, asteroids, or a type of element on another planet's surface until they have pictures of orange or purple aliens running around a weird futuristic city. "And none of that microscopic organism crap."
Hillary Clinton Gives UFO Buffs Hope She Will Open the X-Files, New York Times
"In a radio interview last month, she said, "I want to open the files as much as we can." Asked if she believed in U.F.O.s, Mrs. Clinton said: "I don't know. I want to see what the information shows." But she added, "There's enough stories out there that I don't think everybody is just sitting in their kitchen making them up." When asked about extraterrestrials in an interview with The Conway Daily Sun in New Hampshire last year, Mrs. Clinton promised to "get to the bottom of it." "I think we may have been" visited already, she said in the interview. "We don't know for sure."
Keith's note: One of these stories is not true.